Raising our Children in the Fear of the Lord

 

 

There are few things that really have me up late at night, but last night one of those things had me up to past midnight. This one thing is the salvation of my boys (and any future children). I believe sometimes we think because we take them to church and teach them bible stories and they go to Christian schools or even Home Schools that this somehow guarantees salvation. Or maybe even worse, we think because we are believers so will our children. Nothing is as far away from the truth as this pipedream.  As I stared at the ceiling I cried out to God “save my boys, Lord”. This has been my prayer for the last 3 or 4 years with my oldest and since my little one became a bulge in his mommy’s stomach. I believe there are a few hindrances of our children coming to know the Lord.

 I. Making Moral Children versus Children with a New Heart

One of the greatest disservices we can do to our children is to make them moral agents. I see this so much and in so many circles. We teach our children morality. Christianity becomes about things I abstain from and not about what actually do. For example, a kid thinks Him and God is good, because he abstains from sex during High School. Now this is a wonderful accomplishment, especially in our sex crazed world, especially if you are black (had to go there). To make it out of High School without kids was a great accomplishment where I was from. Every single R&B song on the Top 10 has a sexual reference in it and you can’t even watch a Shampoo commercial without orgasmic sounds being made. There is only one problem, abstaining from intercourse doesn’t make you more of a Christian than Charles Darwin. You will see the same kid being one of the most judgmental, self-righteous and envious people on the planet. He has just substituted one sin for the other. We teach our kids, don’t watch this, don’t wear that, don’t listen to this, don’t go there, and don’t hang out with them! So the kid doesn’t watch movies, his pants is on his waste, a 50 Cent lyric has never touched his ears and his lips have never even bumped a girl. However, you ask this kid about his salvation and what he gives you is a resume about what he doesn’t do. He has no more a clue about his being born wicked and his need for a savior than the worst of sinners.  II. Making the Gospel Palatable or Non-Offensive

This is another one of those things I see a lot especially in Suburban Evangelical churches. An example looks like this: your child’s puppy just got run over and he is torn to pieces. You say something like this: “well you will see your puppy again in heaven one day, just like you will see grandmother”. What is wrong with this? Well it depends. What if grandma wasn’t a Christians and what if your child isn’t either? You start to make Jesus out to be a big Santa Claus giving gifts based off of who was naughty or nice. The truth is, if Grandma didn’t receive Christ as Lord she will not live with Jesus, nor will Jesus be wiping tears from her eyes. The other problem is that God has given you a perfect platform to preach the good news to your child. The truth is if you reject Jesus you will see him as judge and no you are not good enough to merit God’s favor. This is what we need to tell our children. We should be saying “yes God is a God of love; however, He is a hater of sin also. Those who sins have not been forgiven will spend eternity under His wrath. If you palatalize the Gospel you will get a response that will not generate genuine conversion and when someone like me meets him they will think something is wrong with me when I talk to him about his sin and that he is an enemy of Christ.  

 III. Making Christianity a Sunday Ordeal

The truth of the matter is this: many of us are Christians on Sunday alone. If you are a parent that does not live out the Gospel in your daily life most likely your child will mimic such behavior, making it more difficult for them to understand what the essence of the Christian life is. They will fall in one of two categories, they will be the typical American Christian, or even worse, they will be a Sunday goer with no true relationship with the Son. This is what I see most of the time. I think it was Paul Washer who said “Sunday is the worst day of Idolatry”. This is true beyond measures. Churches are packed full of people who are worshipping a God of their imagination. If I was to poll the typical church of 300-500 hundred members and I was to ask them “is Jesus the only way” I bet my paycheck that I would get a 75% fail rate. Most people don’t have a clue about the exclusivity of Christ and to them Sunday is a day that I worship “my God” and not the only God. We spend countless hours, doing homework, taking them to pee wee football games, taking them to museums, Disney World, Zoo’s and malls. So we have a generation of “Christians” who look nice, can tell you quite a bit about sports, and even are straight A students, but are clueless as it relates to the Gospel. The scriptures are foreign to them and if I were to ask them why do I need Jesus they probably would say “because he loves you”.

If we are going to profess to have a relationship with Christ, our first and primary obligation is to train our children. I can care less if my son goes to college, wins a sport award, becomes a top 10 athlete or can even name the 50 capitals of the U.S. All of those are good things, but none of them will allow him to escape God’s wrath. He will be a smart athletic, handsome Hell Bound kid, who turns into another pew potato as an adult to take up space and energy from those who desire to know Christ more intimately.

  IV. Being a Bad Example

My final reason is one of the most obvious ones. The truth is, if you are hypocritical your children will see right through you and your religion will become as sour milk on his stomach. He will be repulsed at the mention of Christ and with good reason. I wanted no part of “church” because of the hypocrisy of those around me. Everyone raised their hands, shouted and even served on the Usher board or Deacon Board when I was coming up. Many of these individuals were some of the most sinful individuals I could find. They were sleeping with one another’s spouses, they would cuss you out before the transmission was put into drive, and they were rude, backbiting and lacked integrity. Now why would I want to waste giving my 10% to a church, and spending my Sunday mornings there when I could just play video games or watch cartoons? Our kids today are much bolder than we ever were. They look at how you talk about Christ living sacrificially but you don’t. They look at how you talk about God’s grace, but your discipline is out of anger and ungracious. They see how you talk about God’s love, but will cuss someone out in a heartbeat. They see you gossip, backbite, lie, cheat, and live only for the food that perishes and they want no part of it. Finally they see the way their parents interact and they say if that what marriage is about and if Christ couldn’t do anything for mommy and daddy then forget Jesus.

 In closing we bear a huge responsibility as parents who profess Jesus as Lord. Our lives are to be Gospel Saturated. We are to live Cross Centered lives with Jesus Christ being our prize. We are to live sacrificially, learn and study the scriptures in order to equip our children, and even at times tell them no to their desires so that they can see Christ. Finally we have to preach the whole counsel of God. We have to let our children understand that they are dead in their sins, and because of this, under the wrath of God. We are to be examples not the clergy, we are to disciple, not Sunday school and when they come to know Christ, we should be the first people on their list of influences.